This post is to ask any opinions on smoking during dates. Till recently my smoking has always been frowned upon and lead to sour dates. The current lady of the hour is akeeper she bought cigars and encourages my droning about my new hobby. I'm wondering about the experiences of other ladies and gents with regard to smoking and dating. You vets have any advice for the unhitched patrons of the leaf?

Its a little bit of give and take. We'll have a date that is about what she wants to do. The next time around, we'll hang out at my local shop. Fortunately for me, the b&m has a few plasma tvs and the guys behind the counters are quite willing to change the channel of one of the screens something that she wants to see. I get to hang with the local group and enjoy my cigar. I guess it helps that a Pinkberry is a couple shops down too...

If she brought the cigars she may want to smoke one with you, if not, ask her if smoking a cigar would bother her. If she is a keeper you do not want to chase her away with smoke.

I dunno...I never make it to the second date so it's never come up...

jag

(However I do have friends that are girls that I smoke cigars around and the don't mind...they just say they wouldn't kiss a guy after unless he's done some brushing...so I don't know if I'd smoke them on a date until things have progressed)

I recently dated someone who liked smoking cigars. I've also dated women who are completely indifferent. Earlier this year, I dated a very nice girl who I had a lot in common with but who believes smoking in any form is about the worst thing you can do to the human body. Mind you, this was a woman whose refrigerator contained only Red Bull, Stolichnaya vanilla vodka, and leftover chinese food. Anyway, she suggested that if I were willing to quit smoking we might have a future. She made the choice between her and Don Pepin Garcia very, very easy.

My ex-girlfriend wouldn't be too eager to kiss me after I smoked. She still would, but she wouldn't enjoy it too much.

Honestly, I wouldn't ever smoke on a date because I wouldn't take a girl anywhere that allows smoking, but I suppose if you ask her if she minded and she said she didn't, you could smoke all you want.

Thanks for all the wonderful responses. I'm just appreciative she smokes also. I have had alot non second dates like jag due to tobacco useage. For some people, I think they use tobacco as a basis for something to change about a person. It's more politically correct to shine a light on a smoking pastime then argue about their weight or personality flaws. I second anyone's choice for cigars over a future with a woman.

Who has the quote from Zino Davidoff about changing wives?

quote:

Originally posted by Extensioncord:
Mind you, this was a woman whose refrigerator contained only Red Bull, Stolichnaya vanilla vodka, and leftover chinese food.

I think she and I have met.

Look, there's no way in hell a woman who doesn't like smoking in the first place will ever learn to accept it when the relationship is new. You must progress to the point of a full-on relationship before you can reintroduce tobacco into your life.

That is to say, she'll already know the whole you and the cigar smoking will be but one of your flaws. But being unwilling to throw the baby out with the bath water, she'll tolerate it.

Bah. I was single when I started smoking cigars. I made a point of letting the women I dated know that cigars were a part of my life. Any of them that raised hell about it never got a 2nd date. The one I ended up marrying would smoke cigars with me. Now she justed liked the flavored ones but that was fine. I got her her own humidor to keep them in!

She doesn't smoke them any more but she fully supports my cigar habit. She also buys me a bottle of Papy Van Winkle's 20 year every year for my birthday! So I guess I did all right.

Joel

Just a little anectdote from a female perspective...

When I was a late teen I had a boyfriend who was just a little bit older than I- who smoked cigars. The cigars was not something specific I liked about him... but it was part of the whole picture. It was on again off again for several years... and I can say that the smell of a cigar catching me by surprise in the city, from a passing cab, or drifting out of a bar... would trigger in me a pulse racing meloncholy longing for him.

My point being, if you are an enjoyable partner- I think the cigars can be a very likeable association with being around you... on the other hand- I guess in the opinions of some girls, they could just as easily be associated with everything that's not to like- EGAD!

What was it Kipling said?

A woman is just a woman but a good cigar is a smoke.

Yea it really depends where your priorities are.

Sex/companionship or cigars. If you are young (<30), you had better say sex.

Being the case, keep your cigar habit in the background and introduce it down the line as a minor habit.

Some women get it, and some do not, as GreenDragon said.

Just remember one thing: Do NOT compare cigars to women, one gives you heart disease and the other gives you their heart.

quote:

Originally posted by SAXON9075:
Who has the quote from Zino Davidoff about changing wives?

I believe that would be Jay Hemmingway

quote:

Originally posted by Scottological:
Look, there's no way in hell a woman who doesn't like smoking in the first place will ever learn to accept it when the relationship is new. You must progress to the point of a full-on relationship before you can reintroduce tobacco into your life.

That is to say, she'll already know the whole you and the cigar smoking will be but one of your flaws. But being unwilling to throw the baby out with the bath water, she'll tolerate it.

This approach worked for me.

She doesn't like despises smoke and smoking (in fact has bad asthma, so can't even be around smoke). But - she accepts that I enjoy a fine cigar, as long as she doesn't have to smell/taste/see it.

So, I enjoy my hobby in forced moderation (a good thing, since I gravitate towards the more expensive smokes). I've also learned some great tricks for dealing with the after-effects.

Just find a girl who smokes. My keeper smokes like a chimney, so cigars have never been a problem!

Kipling stated: women may come and go, but a cigar wil always be a smoke. That being said, cigar smoking is part of your package, and sounds like something you enjoy. And if you're happy, you'll be more secure, and if you're more secure that will make you more attractive. If your prospective partner asks you to stop, and you bend to her wishes, then it wont be too long before she objects to your other activities. Further, you'll find that no matter how many changes you make, she'll make none. Tell her you like smoking cigars, and let her deal with it. Good luck.

OK, here is another perspective. I smoked cigars and then stopped for many years. I meet my now wife, we dated, married etc.. classic love story..

Then we went on a family vacation and my brother-in-law (her sister's husband) stopped in shop and grabbed 2 very nice cohiba's. He and I enjoyed those cigars sitting in a pool in Cabo. Her dad then bought us both Perdron samplers for Christmas that same year...

Slowly but surely, cigars came back in to my life and I have not looked back.

She opposed the humidor coming out, being set-up and the treasures being slowly bought. She was none too happy. Then I had a particularly bad day at work. I had to fire 3 people, explain to a client that we were way behind schedule etc etc.. I came home, poured a 2 finger glass of 18 year old scotch, retrieved a double corona and proceeded to sit on the deck for over an hour.

The comment: "When you got home you were an ass and realy wound tight. but that time you spent on the back porch has done something to completly turn that around." I replied "A wonderful way to clear the mind and forget the petty things in life and see what is really important.."

So she tolerates it, will sit outside when a little warmer and enjoy the time we sit and talk, other times she leaves me alone and allows me the time to get lost in thought and clouds of smoke.


She has even started to learn the nuances of cigars. Now there is still the No Kiss until you brush your teeth, You need a shower before we go to bed law in the house.. but I can deal with that, to me the fact that she tolerates my one vice and has learned about it says more than anything else about our relationship. Everyone has their flaws, it really depends on how petty you are to harp on them...

(oh and i don't complain about the 100 pairs of shoes in the 3 closets or the cantainers of purses either)

Hell, I haven't dated since 1983 but I'll put in my 1 cent worth.

I agree with Scottological for the most part, and I think my wife and Cat1865's wife must be sisters...

If I had to date right now, I would not smoke at all before or during any date I had any interest in. If things progressed, I would let her know that I enjoyed cigars. What might this accomplish in the early stages? It shows your date that you are considerate. She might even perceive that you value her presence enough to put off your smoking pleasure to enjoy her company. This way she knows cigar smoking is in a future with you and she can take her time to decide if you are worth it. When I finally took up cigars, my wife said she loves being around a quality cigar. So, as long as I enjoy cigars in moderation, all seems to be OK.

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