A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat.... she said, Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.
Smart Ass Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldnt find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, Do these turkeys get any bigger? The stock boy replied, No maam, theyre dead.
Smart Ass Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. Ive been waiting for you all day, the cop said. The kid replied, Yeah, well I go here as fast as I could. When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Smart Ass Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, Got stuck, huh? The truck driver says, No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.
#1 SMART ASS ANSWER:
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrows final exam. Now class, I wont tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but thats it, no other excuses whatsoever A smart ass guy in the backS of the room raised his hand and asked,What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion? The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says Well, I guess you would have to write the exam with your other hand.
"Resistance to tyranny is obedience to God" -Thomas Jefferson
"The tree of freedom must be nurtured from time to time with the blood of its patriots" -Thomas Jefferson
"When the Government Fears the People, There is Liberty; When the People Fear the Government, There is Tyranny." - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 3553 | Location: Reggio di Calabria, Italy / New York United States | Registered: July 12, 2007
"Cuban seed tobaccos grown in Nicaragua and Cuba. The wrapper would be from Cuba. The binder leaves would be from Nicaragua. For the ligero tobacco in the filler, he would use two types, one from Esteli and the other from Jalapa in Nicaragua. The other filler components, seco and viso, would come from Cuba, the former from Villa Clara, the latter from Pinar del Rio. That Cigar, he says with pride, would score 100 points." -Don Pepin Garcia
Posts: 809 | Location: Here | Registered: December 11, 2006
"It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something."
or was it delivering one lol 
