Being an avid golfer myself, like most I enjoy pushing my knowledge onto those who don’t really want to hear it. My friends like to call me a “fountain of knowledge”, so today’s your lucky day! There are a few things about golf you need to know, about etiquette and stuff.

Keep your back straight, knees bent and feet shoulder width apart.
Form a loose grip.
Keep your head down.
Avoid a quick back swing.
Stay out of the water.
Try not to hit anyone.
If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you.
Don’t stand directly in front of others.
Quiet please… while others are preparing to go.
Don’t take extra strokes.

Very good. Now flush the urinal, go outside, and tee off.