Jesus, Moses and God were out playing golf one day. Jesus teed off first, and the ball flew straight over the fairway, landed in the green and rolled to within a couple feet of the hole. Moses hit second, and his ball also soared and landed close to the hole. Both looked over at God.

God took a few practice swings, then let loose on his ball. The ball flew off into the rough. Just then, a squirrel jumped over, grabbed the ball in his mouth and started running across the fairway. An eagle swooped down and grabbed the squirrel in its claws, but before it could get too far, a bolt of lightning struck the bird. The ball fell and a sudden gust of wind dropped it directly into the hole.

Jesus glared at God and said: "Hey, are you here to play golf or just screw around?"

Very Funny Lennie. I approve

quote:

Originally posted by Lennielqgolf:
Jesus, Moses and God were out playing golf one day. Jesus teed off first, and the ball flew straight over the fairway, landed in the green and rolled to within a couple feet of the hole. Moses hit second, and his ball also soared and landed close to the hole. Both looked over at God.

God took a few practice swings, then let loose on his ball. The ball flew off into the rough. Just then, a squirrel jumped over, grabbed the ball in his mouth and started running across the fairway. An eagle swooped down and grabbed the squirrel in its claws, but before it could get too far, a bolt of lightning struck the bird. The ball fell and a sudden gust of wind dropped it directly into the hole.

Jesus glared at God and said: "Hey, are you here to play golf or just screw around?"

Lennielqgolf, I love to read your jokes every day, but you kinda butchered this one. Please forgive me for correcting:
... Moses teed off first, and his ball went into the lake, Moses came to the lake, raised his club, the waters of the lake parted and he continued to play the ball.

Jesus hit second, and his ball also went into the lake but floated on top of the water. Jesus just walked up to the ball and continued to play as it was on dry land ...
After this point your version is ok.
Again, sorry for my 2c.

Thanks for clearing up the exact synopsis of the joke !

quote:

Originally posted by Lennielqgolf:
Thanks for clearing up the exact synopsis of the joke !

...Lenny's got his mind on other things.

I did not know that Jesus,Moses and God were Scottish

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband And asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter.
In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new
clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband there in a very depressed and saddened state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go.
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another
position that paid any where near what he'd been earning, and
therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million.

Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank
which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were
one of the largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that for the more than three decades she had 'charged' him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments Worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!'

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut!!!!!!!

I like it !!

An elderly gentleman walked into the doctor's office and approached the receptionist.
"And what are you here to see the doctor about today?" she asked.
"There something wrong with my dick!" he replied.
She answered,"Sir, please do not use that kind of language here in the waiting room, you might embarass someone!" "Say that you have a problem with your ear or something less private!"
"Okay" says the gentleman and he leaves the room for a few minutes and returns to the desk.
"And what are you here to see the doctor about today,Sir?" she asked, smugly.
"I gotta problem with my ear" he replied.
"And what exactly is wrong with your ear,Sir?"
"I can't piss out of it!"
Don't mess with Seniors!!!