Master Car Manufacturing Guru Henry Ford will be in Detroit soon and he makes THE best cars in the world. He uses parts he gets from a scrap heap and makes Granada's, Pinto's, and every once in a while, a 1979 Mustang. And if you get him in a good mood, he'll throw together an Expedition. I've driven these cars, and they are THE best cars I've ever driven. Señor Ford charges $27,500 for each, but they're SO worth it. Here are his qualifications - I mean, these qualifications are unheard of!!:

He's been in the car business since he was a teen.

He started this thing called the assembly line.

His products include the ever popular Explorer.

He had a sweetheart deal with tire giant Firestone.

At the age of only 20, he was building his own engines, transmissions, drive trains, and brake systems.

His cars have won races on the grand prix circuit.

He's been featured in many shows even a "Biography".

He had a stint where he made GT's and Pantera's, and even Lincoln Mercury's.

How can anyone say that their Benz, their Porsche, or their Lexus is better (not that I've ever driven any of them)? To do so would reek of arrogance. I know...because I know. These Henry Ford's are the best!

Well - if one were to say it as it is, all of that is a huge pile of hogwash. The parts he might throw together are still just a bunch of parts, no matter Ford's magic. If you don't know any better, maybe a Granada or a Pinto is a great car. But if you DO know better and/or can see behind the pandering, or if you actually did drive another car...how could anybody swallow any of this and be happy about it? Yet - that's what some would have us believe about cigars from certain rollers.