Restaurant Review: Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar in Times Square
I like Guy Fieri, but damn, he gets CRUSHED!
A few snippets:
Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?
How did nachos, one of the hardest dishes in the American canon to mess up, turn out so deeply unlovable? Why augment tortilla chips with fried lasagna noodles that taste like nothing except oil? Why not bury those chips under a properly hot and filling layer of melted cheese and jalapeños instead of dribbling them with thin needles of pepperoni and cold gray clots of ground turkey?
When you hung that sign by the entrance that says, WELCOME TO FLAVOR TOWN!, were you just messing with our heads? Does this make it sound as if everything at Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar is inedible? I didn’t say that, did I?
What accounts for the vast difference between the Donkey Sauce recipe you’ve published and the Donkey Sauce in your restaurant? Why has the hearty, rustic appeal of roasted-garlic mayonnaise been replaced by something that tastes like Miracle Whip with minced raw garlic? And when we hear the words Donkey Sauce, which part of the donkey are we supposed to think about?
Why did the toasted marshmallow taste like fish? Did you finish that blue drink? This message has been edited. Last edited by: Mr. Magicoa,
it was a rather unprofessional review. I've heard the restaurant is not all that great, and certainly not by NYC standards; that said, the article sounded like a letter from spurned girlfriend than a restaurant review. Way too much venom to be taken as an objective opinion
I tend to agree with with you as I've never read anything like it. I mean, if the restaurant was THIS bad, why even review it? Why not review KFC and Pizza Hut while you're at it?
Plus, I heard Guy was giving a large portion of his take from the restaurant to the Red Cross during the Hurricane aftermath.
Sacrilege! Two of my favorite guilty pleasures
It's Guy's name putting butts in the seats, not the food. However, this doesn't surprise me. From what I have seen of him on TV, he seems more like a TV personality than a chef.
Carthago delenda est
according to anthony bourdain, most tv chefs cant actually cook.
"Republicans approve of the American farmer, but they are willing to help him go broke. They stand four-square for the American home--but not for housing. They are strong for labor--but they are stronger for restricting labor's rights. They favor minimum wage--the smaller the minimum wage the better. They endorse educational opportunity for all--but they won't spend money for teachers or for schools. They think modern medical care and hospitals are fine--for people who can afford them. They consider electrical power a great blessing--but only when the private power companies get their rake-off. They think American standard of living is a fine thing--so long as it doesn't spread to all the people. And they admire the Government of the United States so much that they would like to buy it."
-Harry S. Truman
That was just the latest in a string of bad reviews.
However, it's a Times Square restaurant. It's not intended to be a culinary showplace, it's so idiots from flyover states can feel fancy while eating chicken fingers and waffle fries and waiting for their matinee to start. It serves its purpose probably just as well as the Olive Garden ( *shudders while typing*).
Seen this guy (no pun intended) a few times with his family at a couple of local restaurants. He's been pretty cool/personable the times we've seen him.
On a different note, the "Santa Maria tri-tip" roasts with his signature on them are very good (courtesy of Costco), while my experience with the "Rosemary pepper" roasts with his signature from the same source have reminded me that hooves, snouts & leather boots/jackets are technically, 100% "beef".