Here's a question:

Can the CAO Vision box be used as a weapon of mass destruction?

quote:

Originally posted by chrisguinther:
Here's a question:

Can the CAO Vision box be used as a weapon of mass destruction?

No. But a mass distraction? Yes. It distracts you enough to think there are good cigars in it.

Should I smoke a Vision solely to experience how bad it sucks?

quote:

Originally posted by MTMouse:

quote:

Originally posted by chrisguinther:
Here's a question:

Can the CAO Vision box be used as a weapon of mass destruction?

No. But a mass distraction? Yes. It distracts you enough to think there are good cigars in it.

LOL, The light is hypnotic!!

Perhaps the box could be used as CAO night Vision goggles?

Friday, April 6th, 2007

Does The CAO Vision Still Suck –
Special Q&A Edition, Part Three

Before we get to today’s questions, it should be noted that the CAO Vision performed relatively well in the current issue of CA’s Cigar Insider. Whether or not one is willing to pay $12 for a robusto that rates 86 points and exhibits an “uneven burn” and “some damp earth notes” is a personal decision that is best left to the individual.

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On to today’s questions, the first one a multi-part query submitted by salibas007 who, bless his heart, continues to support this thread with another series of thoughtful questions.

Q: extensioncord: here are some new possible uses for the vision box. Please explain if it is indeed suitable for it's new tasks:

landing path for alien spaceships.... (or a tiny helicopter)??

A: The CAO Vision box would be too small to accommodate most alien spaceships…but not for unmanned aircraft. The remote operators of surveillance craft, anal probe delivery vehicles and the like would probably find the Vision box quite an accommodating place to land. Would it draw too much attention in the process? Only the aliens can say. The truth is out there.

hazard light for when your get a flat tire on a dark unlight country road ??

Possibly. It may even be more eco-friendly than a flare. If I run into Ed Begley, Jr. this weekend, I’ll run it past him. However, in the kind of places where there are still plenty of “dark unlit country roads” there are also the kind of people who might mistake the CAO Vision box for a UFO of some kind. As a resident of the northeastern United States, I cannot be sure what their reaction would be, but having seen “Deliverance,” my guess would be (a) fear, followed quickly by (b) the organization of an ad-hoc mob and finally (c) random violence, possibly directed at you for aiding and abetting those alien creatures that look a lot like little cigars wearing white hats but are probably just dressed that way to fool us.

chick magnet that screams: LOOK AT ME, I'M COOL ???

A: Not by itself. An accountant with a pocket protector, for example, would not see much benefit from holding a CAO Vision box. However, if said accountant did two or three cycles of HGH, worked out every day, waxed his body hair, ordered some mesh shirts from the International Male catalog and began using too much product in his hair…well, then yes, it is possible the CAO Vison, in conjunction with all of the aforementioned accessories and perhaps a judicious spritz of Axe body spray, may aid in the procurement of female companionship of the “big hair and tube top” variety. (Then again, as my plumber friend Tony is quick to remind me: “P*ssy’s p*ssy, E-cord.”)

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From JWeb:

Q: Extensioncord, do you think if I installed a mirror in a Vision box my wife could use it as a vanity for her makeup? This could be helpful in convincing her of the benefits of cigars and cigar paraphanalia.

A: Genius! This one completely slipped past me. Thankfully, you, sir, are on the ball. As I write this, I am bowing my head in quiet admiration.

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From MTMouse:

Q: My 17 year-old would like to get a car. Should I buy a box and strap it under the car, so he can cruise with a CAO Vision in his mouth and 'neon' under his car, 'pimpin'? Or is that, 'so yesterday'?

A: I’m the last person who should act as an authority on what is or is not hip. However, neon under-car lighting kits seem not to have lost their cachet. Most commercially-available lighting kits I’ve seen have some sort of implicit DOT approval, whereas the CAO Vision box has not been evaluated for this specific purpose. Also, I would think the time and expense of devising appropriate mounting hardware would outweigh any potential savings that might arise from re-using the Vision box. I would also suggest that the boy take responsibility for his own car and do the work himself – especially if you’ve provided both the car and the Vision box gratis. As for whether the boy is ready to smoke a cigar at 17, I leave that to you, his parent. I’m assuming that when you say “pimpin’” you’re referring to a specific state of being – like “cruisin’” or “chillin’” – and not the act of working in that profession. If your son is an actual card-carrying pimp, he is more likely to appreciate the Vision cigar itself than if he is not. In any event, getting a first car is an exciting event in a child’s life, for father and son alike. So, be sure to pass along my congratulations, Mazel tov, or “big ups” depending on which is most appropriate for your family.

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And from P.A.D.R.E.:

Q: Use your vision box to blind the opposing teams pitcher while you sit in the stands with a cold brew?

A: Shame on you, P.A.D.R.E. Bad sportsmanship is never funny. Except, perhaps, when you open a cigar box and it temporarily blinds someone and the sports section of your local newspaper runs a headline the next day that’s something like:

LIGHTS OUT!

Fan blinds pitcher with hideous cigar box;
Stadium erupts into mass hysteria as UFO simultaneously attempts landing on box

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Thanks to Salibas007, JWeb, MTMouse and P.A.D.R.E. for their questions.

And now, the question of the day: Does the CAO Vision still…ah, what’s the point. We all know the answer.

Funniest Thread Ever!!

Great start to a Friday morning. A VSG Wizard, a cup of coffee, and E-cord's CAO thread.

BTW, loved the pimp cup suggestion from a couple of weeks ago, and I thought this would be a great new packaging idea for CAO's new Gold Maduro line. A gold pimp cup packed with cigars. If they could only incorporate some hot grill design for the teeth as you smoke them so you could be totally pimped out.

Either a Pimp cup or a cane. The inside could be hollowed out and filled with CAO cigars. They could get House MD to promote it!

quote:

congratulations, Mazel tov, or “big ups” depending on which is most appropriate for your family.

Actually Irish-Catholic, so I guess drink up fits

quote:

"using too much 'product' in his hair"

You know the term 'product'? Going a little MetroSexual on us?

quote:

Originally posted by MTMouse:

"using too much 'product' in his hair"

You know the term 'product'? Going a little MetroSexual on us?

I wear cologne, too. In my neighborhood, that puts me halfway to gay.

quote:

Originally posted by Extensioncord:

quote:

Originally posted by MTMouse:

"using too much 'product' in his hair"

You know the term 'product'? Going a little MetroSexual on us?

I wear cologne, too. In my neighborhood, that puts me halfway to gay.

Gives you more options on a Friday night.....

quote:

Thanks to Salibas007, JWeb, MTMouse and P.A.D.R.E. for their questions.

Your welcome extensioncord, it was my pleasure to add to this memorable thread.

I always try to contribute to posts that educate the general community. I am curious if a CAO rep has read this post yet?

quote:

Originally posted by P.A.D.R.E.:
I always try to contribute to posts that educate the general community. I am curious if a CAO rep has read this post yet?

I would think CAO has to suspect that they're becoming something of a joke to serious cigar smokers...they can't be that oblivious. Right now, they're a marketing company like Ghurka that devises sometimes clever, sometimes stupid brand & packaging concepts but leaves it to third parties to manufacture the most important part: the cigar!

I hope CAO finds its way back because they still market some very worthwhile cigars. In particular, I've always liked the Gold line, especially the 10th Anniversay perfecto shape, becuase it offers a mild smoke without ever being bland. The Cameroon and Maduro lines are also generally good, and as fellow CA member URiah proved to me recently, aged CAO Cameroons can be really excellent smokes. The last batch of MX2s that shipped around Nov-Dec were lousy but the latest shipment seems back on track (which doesn't help me because I'm stuck with a ton of cigars from the crappy shipment).

We've already got enough conglomerates to churn out mass-produced junk. Maybe CAO wants to be General Cigar. If so, they've chosen a great example to follow. Maybe they can all get together in a board room someday and lament the passing of both the Diablo and the Vision.

I do like the CAO Brazilia and MX2, but you're right, if they keep up these marketing campaigns the good cigars are going to be overshadowed by the goofy ad campaigns.

Is this thread dead? Say it ain't so EC. Has the Vision stopped sucking as much or has it regressed to a point where it's name can no longer be uttered, a decree made that no person shall speak of it, and making it a Schedule III dog-rocket in the same clssification as the T-word. If so the date March 14 will etched in our hearts forever and commemorated each year across the land when on that day the faithful will all illuminate their humidors with blue neon lights and sleep with one arm exposed anxiously anticipating a visit from a Flavorette.

i still havent even seen any of these around.. I dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing

EC has bought them all up, he secretly loves them!